Kirby's Epic Porn

In a review for Kirby's Return to Dreamland, Richard George mentioned that Nintendo had done a lot of different gameplay styles with Kirby in the past few years. And you know what? He's right. While he may not be more diverse than Mario's non-traditional games (such as Kart racers and the Mario Party series), there's been a lot of different types of Kirby games. He was sort of a golf ball in Kirby's Dream Course, he was a Break Out ball in Kirby's Block Ball, he had a weird flying racing game called Kirby's Air Ride, then a Star Stacker. He also had a Puyo Puyo clone, a weird drawing game, and whatever the hell you want to call this. He returned to side-scrolling platform action in Kirby's Epic Yarn, but the graphics were weird, it was impossible to die, and he did not retain the popular enemy-copying abilities that started with his second game. Sure, there were a few more traditional Kirby games sprinkled here and there, including a portable remakes of Kirby's Adventure and Kirby Super Star/Deluxe, but a lot of Kirby's games have been highly experimental. This finally brings me to my point. Why not make a Kirby sex game? He's obviously got the mouth for it. Imagine our favorite pink puffer sucking and fucking his way through Wet Dream Land along with a female counterpart to collect pieces for an ultimate sex toy and defeat Kinky Dedickdick in an epic sexual battle. Let me be clear that I have no delusions about such a game being made. Still, it could be a real laugh riot at least.

A poem I memorized in school years ago

Most Indians or even all

originally spoke American

but we still cannot understand their goal

in refusing to let us in on it

So here we sit or often kneel

on tender knees

and much along on sandwiches of tongue

between slices of white

And try to speak their languages

but (HA HA) we can't

except for a few missionaries

who speak them (HEHEH) in the night

The poem made little sense to me then and it makes little sense to me now. I never understood why the "laughing" parts were in there, and it seems as though parts of the poem itself were missing. I have yet to verify this poem because I don't remember what book it was in and have been unable to find traces of it online.